WHEN YOUR KID BECOMES YOUR HERO – A WORKING MOM’S DREAM
Career women are haunted by mom-guilt A LOT! No matter how many lunches you’ve packed, book reports or science fair projects you’ve helped with or recitals you’ve attended, we often define ourselves as working moms by the things we MISS and the impact that has on our kids.
SYMPTOMS OF WORKING MOM GUILT
You may be suffering from mom guilt if you are feeling…
- Stretched thin
- Conflicted
- Stressed at home and at work
- Burned out to the point of exhaustion
All with no alone time to recharge…
THE WORKING MOM’S CROSS TO BEAR
There may be days when you wonder if it is all worth it and how will your career ambition affect your kid(s)?
I have an amazing daughter named Catherine (aka Cat) who is currently a freshman at UGA this year, and I thought my heart was going to break when we dropped her off this past August at her new dorm in Russell Hall. However, we have all adjusted and Cat is living her best life. In fact, I wanted to share with you something really special that happened to her this week… She got a JOB! Most importantly, she got a job on her OWN. Cat has always worked for me or gotten a job through one of my connections, but not this time!
I don’t think I’ve seen her so proud of herself since she won 2nd place at her DECA State Competition her junior year of high school.
WORKING MOM GUILT BECOMES WORKING MOM WIN
Cat and I sat down to talk about prepping for her interview, but I soon realized there was no prep needed because she…
- Did her homework and read everything that was available to read
- Sent her resume ahead of time to the interviewers (even though they never asked her for it)
- Prepared great questions – well above the “how many days do I get off” and “what is the hourly rate”
- Was already ready
They called her two minutes after the Skype call and offered her the job ON THE SPOT!
She is MY HERO!
If you love your job and your kids, I want to offer some good news. For the of women in the workforce today, you are NOT scarring your kids for life.
Instead, the Harvard Business School “Working Mother Study” by Kathleen McGinn and Mayra Ruiz Castro and Elizabeth Long Lingo has found in preliminary result of a groundbreaking study that daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes. The careers of sons were unaffected.
So be proud of what you are teaching your kids.
YOU ARE CREATING LONG-LASTING, LIFE-CHANGING IMPACT
After deeply reflecting on this, I asked Cat to share some things she’s learned from her very own working mom, and here’s what she shared with me (cue the tears):
- Hard work takes you places – if you’re willing to put in the time, the results will come.
- Treat everyone with respect – no matter who they are or where they come from, they are worth investing in if they want the help.
- Take time for yourself – if you're not investing in yourself and self-care, it’s virtually impossible to help others along the way.
- Family is everything – investing and putting time aside is what will ultimately allow you to keep going.
- Perseverance – your ability to push through adversity is what makes you grow.
- Time Management – when a lot is on your plate, learning how to block off time for the things that matter.
- Vacation is SACRED – this is your time to recharge. You earned it!
- You have more influence than you’re aware of – people are watching you all the time when you are in a leadership position.
- It takes a village – great support networks help build incredible leaders.
- Know what you want and do everything you can do to achieve it – dreams are made realities when you truly want it.
Your kids learn more from what you do than from what you say, so if you have a big dose of mom guilt today then please know this one’s for you. As Kathleen McGinn says in her conclusion:
- As we gradually understand that our children aren’t suffering, I hope the guilt will go away.
Release the guilt and know that they are watching you. So, lead with bravery and courage every day and keep setting the example for your kids – they need it!
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